O/T: Gay Rights v. Religion on the 2012 Campaign Trail

What your “prophet” has wrought in your name:


Hi God.

I know we don’t speak much, me being a catholic queer, then lapsed catholic, and now pretty much devoid of any faith. I guess I think you exist, or I wouldn’t bother writing.

Anyway, I’m writing you because I’m confused about something.

When I was in Catholic school, there were the Beatitudes, right? Lotsa love. No mention of the word hate.

And now, your self-appointed defenders spew unfiltered hate. A Rick Santorum campaign co-chair just said “Homosexuals make god throw up.”

Firstly, I don’t think God throws up.  Secondly, God never, NEVER looks down on his subjects with disdain.

Rick Santorum is the worst kind of hateful filth. So is Michelle Bachman, whose ‘believers’ are bullying gay kids in her district into suicide.

Didn’t you all read X-men? God Loves, man kills.

God doesn’t want death in his name.  ever.  He’s a loving God. That’s like second grade catholic school stuff.

Do your bible study, bible thumpers.

One thing that bothers me is “You can’t call them intolerant if you are intolerant of their viewpoint.”


Pardon me, that’s the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard. You can’t want tolerance is you express disdain for the intolerant?

So, Black People should’ve embraced the KKK? That’s beyond dumb.

People such as Fred Phelps or Focus on the Family have squandered my normal compassionate nature by unfurling salvo after salvo of hatred towards the gay community, of which I am a part.
The notion that the biggots need to be allowed to spew their biggotry towards children is revolting. Utterly revolting. If we cannot protect our children, ALL OF THEM (regardless of race, creed or orientation) we are worthless as a people.

There’s no need to tolerate the viewpoints of the intolerant. Particularly when they would seek to essentially whitewash gays from existence.

God didn’t want any of his creations unmade, by the way.

Because God, unlike the Man that invokes his name, doesn’t make mistakes.


Why Neil Greenberg is wrong, but not that fancy word Howie Rose called him.

So, last week, the blogosphere was aflame by Neil Greenberg’s list of the top 25 players under the age of 25. Then people dismissed it, then Howie Rose brought the simmering fire to a roaring inferno by lambasting Neil on the air for having the audacity not to include John Tavares on his list.

I’m not going to knock the guys on the list. I like the majority of them. But there’s 5 or 6 of them you could get a GM to trade you for Tavares.

I’m also not going to be looking up that word Howie called Neil. Sounded too science-y. I’m sorry, I’m a history guy. It was funny, haha, great Howie.

I “appreciate your passion, but tone it down” (as some asshole who tried to get me to shut up at the game said, fuck you too guy). But in reality Howard Rose, the only people who still give a shit about this team are the ones who read about in on a daily basis on messageboards, people who get their fix from junkies on blogs, not too unlike this one. We are among the most digital fanbases in the NHL. Look at my home away from home, Islandermania. Half the STH base is on there chirping Wang right now (By the way, Charles, you suck). So no, don’t bite the hand that feeds.You called out (though not by name, oddly enough) Neil Greenberg of ESPN, the WaPost and formerly of RussianMachineNeverBreaks, the parent site of Puckbuddys, which is the parent site of this blog. That makes me like Neil’s BlogBro-In-Law. 6 degrees of internet memes.

Anyway, I spoke a bit with Neil about his column after I turned Isles country lose on him by linking his piece to a few of my influential media friends who fed it to their followers and it became a pitchfork and torch wielding mob. I take all the credit for this. It was awesome to see that people still get pissed when this franchise is disrespected. I thought we lost all our passion to apathy. Glad to see that is not the case. Sorry you ate that shit sandwich, Neil. I apologize for calling the dogs of war. You are a nice guy who gave his opinion, you just happened to make a party foul against possibly the most pissed off fanbase in the NHL.

Why are we so pissed off? The constant disrespect. From every other fanbase, the officials… the league. We have a storied past. I don’t wanna hear shit from NuNHL fans whose teams have either never one a cup or took the fucking cold war off. Shoosh. This fanbase has taken 20 years of fecal matter in our faces and every year on opening night we come back bright eyed, bushy tailed and hopeful just to be crapped on again.  And then we come back again. Why? Because we really are pretty goddamn resilient. All we need is hope. And Tavares is that hope. He is the embodiment of that hope.

That’s why you got that anger, Neil.

That out of the way, let’s talk about why you are wrong!

Initially, I said Neil went after JT because it would be a controversial statement and there was noone left in Isles country to answer Neil’s call to arms. I dared him to pen the same piece about Ovechkin, basically implying he wouldn’t shit where he eats. He then provided me links of every anti-ovi piece he had penned. Oh, did I feel like a dick.

ANYWAY… Neil said to me in essence “Come at me bro” but don’t bring “Saw Him Good!” as analysis. Have something deeper.

Neil, you have my respect for your metrics, though they are in my opinion,  over analysis. I’m not Billy Beane. I’m a loudmouth blogger, so let’s tell ya what I got and we’ll compare notes.

The crux of Neil’s criticism of JT91 is that Tavares benefits from his linemates, JT’s lack of ‘clutchness’ and that JT is placed in advantageous offensive situations, thus not needing to go 200 feet to create, but rather being in position to capitalize on a chance from the moment he hits the ice.

Let’s take these things in reverse order.

Why is JT91 put in offensive situations? Why? Because a line better suited for defensive situations will take own zone draws, headed by our Selke candidate, Frans Nielsen. It’s not a knock on JT, it’s an asset we have on call, a legitimate shutdown defensive centerman. John’s talents are better utilized in neutral zone draws or Ozone faceoffs. Tavares wins nearly 55% of his draws. He also now has the half wall attack dog, Kyle Okposo at his disposal for the ones he doesn’t win. That’s forecheck city, you don’t burn their minutes in your own zone. It’s not good resource management.You let Frans the Great Dane handle the bulk of the DZone heavy lifting. It’s just proper allocation of skill sets.

This is not to say JT91 is a DZone liability. Each year, incrementally, he has raised his strength on the puck, his battle level in the corners, and the most eveident, after working out with the same power skating wizard who aided Bobby Nystrom, Laura Stamm, he has made his skating explosive, making himself into a complete player, capable in all 3 zones. Hes’ 7th in the league in takeaways at last check. Neil told me that’s an unreliable homer stat (similar to FLAWLESS PRINCE MATT MARTIN’S LEAGUE LEAD IN HITS) which may be true, but my counterpoint is when you are that high up, you are doing SOMETHING right, even if the numbers are slightly askew.

Oh, the clutch thing. Oh boy. “John Tavares isn’t big in big spots” may have been paraphrasing, but that’s pretty close. Ok! The numbers call BS on that.

  • 18 of his 20 goals have been scored when the team is tied, up or down 1.
  • 9 have been in the 3rd period or OT.
  • 5 have been Game Winners, ergo he is 6th in the league in GWG.

Big time spots. Big time goals, dial 91.

The last point actually made me chuckle. Tavares “benefits from his linemates strengths”. HA! PA Parenteau is going to buy a house this offseason and owe it to John Tavares. He is the straw that stirs the drink. Let’s look at his 3 most frequent linemates to this point in his career and their production with and without him.

Matt Moulson: Tavares’ finisher, Wingman, and BFF.

Moulson was ferrying back and forth between the Manchester Monarchs of the AHL and hanging in the Kings Pressbox. Before arriving on LI, he had 6 career goals in 29 career NHL games. And looking back at his numbers through the NCAA and the AHL, he was never a 30 goal scorer. Since he arrived and was pit on JT’s wing, he has eclipsed 30 goals both seasons and looks to hit 40 this year. But yeah, the guy was waiting to explode on the Kings depth chart before being reunited with childhood friend John Tavares. Certainly, all draft picks go through what 4 organizations before stardom, right? Odd, that.

P.A. Parenteau: “Screw it, big win. Do It Shirtless!”

Ah, PAP. Much maligned by some Isles fans because of his pedigree (Ranger castoff), a minor league journeyman kicking around the AHL for years (Drafted in 2001!) he shockingly enjoyed a career year on Tavares’ wing. He had a whopping 3 goals in 27 career NHL games before finding 2 tickets to Tavaradise. Last year, riding shotgun with JT, he potted 53 points. He started guns blazing this year, but once he was taken off the line, he has cooled. Odd, that.

Kyle Okposo: Back from the brink.

It’s been a long hard road for Kyle. Injuries and poor developmental supervision nearly snuffed out his potential. He was struggling recovering from a very bad shoulder injury during last season to start this campaign, and many in Isles country had began to call him the dreaded ‘B’ word, which no young player ever wants to hear. Then he was put on Tavares’ wing and magically became a PPG player. His career high before this season was 18g. He’s at 11 already. Odd, that.

John Tavares is the guy that got all of these players going. It’s not the other way around. The man is a top ten player in the NHL right now, let alone a top 25 player under 25.

As for the ‘saw him good’ portion of the analysis Neil feared was coming… he’s right. I saw him do good. He’s pretty fucking awesome.

State of The Island

An organizational assessment of the New York Islanders

From top to bottom, I’m going to take a look at the NYI and we shall see who were deserves to play out this year and be back, who has value and should be dealt, and who needs to go to the glue factory.

On Ice (NHL Level):

One line and some assorted parts…

John Tavares: Simply put, the most important player to any franchise in the NHL at this moment. He is the reason this fanbase has any hope currently and the reason people think the NYI exists in 4 years time. Untouchable.

Okposo, Grabner, Moulson: This trio isn’t going anywhere. These are all upper echelon players who bring different things and all 3 have multiple years left on cap friendly deals. Okposo is the prototypical power forward who has found his consistent net drive and snarl to become a rock in that dressing room for years to come. Moulson is Tavares’ rad bromance (Yes, that was a Gaga joke) and a legitimate 30 goal finisher. He’s Mark Parrish in terms of net presence, but unlike Parrish, he can skate… and SHOOT!  Gremlin is a legit PK maven and streaky guy whose speed alone makes him a perennial 25 goal guy.

Nielsen, Parenteau: Two legit top 9 players both pending UFA. I. Love. Frans. He is so wonderful. He is the hero of the songs my heart sings. I’ll never forget  soft spoken Radek Martinek’s words. “I love him so much. He is wonderful. If anyone hurt him (I’d kill them).” Oh gosh, I’m over come with emotion. I miss you Radek, my sneaky-sneaky friend.  I digress. Frans is a selke future winner (He finished 6th last year in voting with the NYPHWA boycotting, he could have won if they voted). You don’t GIVE that away. If you truly believe Cizikas will fill his role, fine. Fine. But Casey needs to earn that. Frans must be back. I believe PA must as well. Our prospect cupboard is overflowing. We do not need picks. If both return, We maybe need to add 1 legitimate top 9 player up front. 2 if you lose one. That’s all. If you lose both? Our forwards corps become a wreck akin to the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Nino Niederreiter – “El Nino, Spanish for the Nino!” is coming on like a train lately. He’s a rock of our prospect pool. Get him on the third line, now.

Matt Martin – Hold me, one of the flawless two princes. The NHL’s leading hitter, a fearless bulldog who will fight anyone, and a strong puck possession forward. I crush on him.

Brian Rolston, Marty Reasoner, Tim Wallace,  Jay Pandolfo – You all have accomplished a lot at the NHL level (other than Wallace, who has done exactly… yeah). Congrats on your careers. Please collect your paychecks and gear at the front desk.

On to the thin blue line…

Travis Hamonic and Andrew McDonald – THE OTHER OF THE TWO PRINCES!!!! I love Hamonic. His amazingness cannot be put into words. Youth, snarl, hitting, shot blocking and an ability to jump in on the rush? He might actually be perfect! But my adopted son lost a tooth. Fix that, Shakey. Glue something in there. AMac is the perfect counter to Hammer. Positionally sound, smart instincts, largely stay at home. And if anyone touches him, Hamonic destroys them because of bromantic obligations.

Mark Streit – The Captain. He needs to stay as a veteran glue. That’s all there is to it. I’d love to say our D corps is solid enough to trade him, but that’s a blatanly laughable statement. Hahaha. See? Laugh.

Steve Staios, Milan Jurcina – this is a case of snarl if too old to get into position to properly use it, and a case of size but an unwillingness to be physical. We already have Jurcina’s clone in the “I’m a big man that hits less than Tom Poti” in Wishart. Staios’ clone, Brendan Witt, already retired. Just saying… goodbye.

Dylan Reese – Wow. I shit on this kid last year. He has grown up mightily. He can stay as depth.

Mark Eaton – Holy dog dick is he steady. He’s just injured, often. He is Martinek Version II. I like his play, but his frailty and age make me yearn for a younger more durable replacement.

The defenders of the crease:

Rick Dipietro – I love you. Unabashedly. You are what made me an Islanders fan.  You need to retire for your health, your team and your fans. Right Now. I still love you. But as Coldplay said, if you love someone, you can let them go.

Al Montoya and Evgeni Nabakov – One of these men, I have no preference as I love our quirky Chicagoan and Enigmatic Russian equally, will return and serve as starter with Kevin Poul in in his stead next year. The End. I’d give a slight edge to Montoya in the two isles preferred qualifications: Young and Cheap.

On the Ice – Prospects (Quick assessment of the team’s key cogs in development)

Kevin Poulin, Ryan Strome, Calvin DeHaan , Casey Cizikas – I’m rue to move any of these kids as they all seem legit, and will see significant time on LI next year.  The only concerns here are CDH and Poulin’s injuries.

Scott Mayfield, Andrej Pedan – Raw, large, nasty Dmen. Stay forever.

Brock Nelson, Kirill Kabanov – two intriguing high ceiling forwards prospects. Would not deal without a fellatio worthy trade.

Aaron Ness, Matt Donnovan – Both are playing very well at the Bridge and look like they could be NHL contributors some day soon, but could be dealt for help NOW.

Kirill Petrov – HA.

Rhett Rakashani, David Ullstrom – Both look like serviceable NHL parts but are by no means untouchable.

Mike Haley – Why are you not on Long Island punching people in the face?

Off the Ice, Organization:

Charles Wang – I hate you. You petty, vindictive, stubborn asshat of a man. Please go into the afterlife, posthaste sell the team to someone who wants to win on Long Island.

Garth Snow – He is currently a puppet. But he is a ruthless, shrewd puppet. I’d like to see him under a real owner, or given a chance to go out and get a real coach with a spine. Last time he had 1 in Nolan, we looked solid.

Jack Capuano – You poor Flinstone looking man guy. I like you. I do. But you are not a smart hockey coach.  At All. And you show no emotion. I’m genuinely sorry Jack, but you must go.

Scott Allen, Doug Weight- Its amazing such an incompetent HC has two very competent Assistants. If you don’t believe me, look at our PK and PP ranks. FIYAHPOWAH + WATER BOTTLE SQUIRT = HAPPY VINNY

Howie Rose – At least 6 times a season, when Howie is rousted from his malaise, he DESTROYS someone who has ripped Isles Country. And it’s wonderful.

Butch Goring – HA. Pat Flatley is taking your job.

Billy Jaffe – BABY COME BACK.

Where does this leave us?

Next year, on the ice, we should look like this:




Martin-Warm Body with PK skills (Like say KONOPKA?)-Hopefully HALEY?



Striet-Prospect (CDH, Ness or Donny)



That’s all for now. See you next time, or I will see you another time!

NP – Two Princes by the Spin Doctors